BEAUTY BEHIND THE MADNESS
The Voices In the Worried Wife’s Head
“Femi, Do you know I have voices in my head now? Tenants renting space, pacing making a case.?”
They are loud and they tell me all I don’t want to hear and paint scenarios. Ugly ones. You with her..pants down grabbing your hair like I do.
You walking away..all my fears..oh my days I swear I love you. I know one day it might happen; your pants down with her or you inside of me, in tiny bits and pieces. I do not prefer either. All I want is for you to love me now but I know you can’t. This love was never made for me or her No love, not even yours lasts forever.
Look at me Femi… a worried wife.. your wife at the mercy of another love you promised. If you could tell me about her. Will you?
Tiny little precious secrets. I will be your best friend, listen to you no judgements. How she tells you she loves you. Innocent precious love wrapped up in gestures.
“I will do anything to be with you, she would say.”
I would understand, I mean who wouldn’t want you. That..however, I don’t think I can understand. Beautiful is all I see. I have tried not to care but I do. I have tried to not worry but I do. What should I do?
I honestly don’t care if you have girls that like you or fall in love with you but I would rather know. Secrets upset me, lies? They outrage me.Omissions as innocent as it may seem can be intentional and I am puzzled as to why these belles are intentional omissions.
I am puzzled how she is also sharing your attention. I understand everyone else (other belles) I know their history cause you see? You told me.
I am puzzled because your attention isn’t easy to get and it is even harder to keep. You fuck with strong personalities, it makes you more interesting and makes me wonder how I got here..
I am puzzled, more like scared. I don’t exactly have assurance of how you feel or what this is. The fear causes some jealousy and many tears. Thoughts i am not proud of, I would never think less of you so I should ask you?
But why dont you ever tell me? You know I don’t care.
A Little bird told me and it was sad that birds know what we have and talk about you and us and her. You let out the voices in my head with the birds humming fluttering all the words.
I wish you told me Femi.. I Really wish you did
Femi falls to the ground sobbing profusely.. he hugs the letter tight.. squeezing It to his chest. He bends over Natasha and kisses her forehead and cradles her head as he weeps further..
Please come back baby.. I promise to be good.. I promise.. I promise.. pls..
