Beauty Behind The Madness
Death, Dying and All that Scary Stuff.
Do not look at my face.. don’t worry.. I am happy, I promise.
You know what they say about times and tides.. how they wait for no one? Yeah .. the saying, that one.. it’s how money appears and disappears.. fleeting like Times and Tides
What do i mean?
Money takes away, as well as bring in our emotions like how you bring in an unwanted visitor to a house that is not yours . You can’t defend yourself so it’s like you are fighting a lost cause.
Money is like a spirit.. it comes and goes.. no goodbyes, no guarantees.. nothing!.. it just goes..
This isn’t even about money .. it’s about life.. as you know it.. as I know it .. as we all know it. Life is fleeting.. it appears and disappears.. no guarantees.. sometimes, no goodbyes.. nothing! It just goes..
I have never believed death to be the end or a concept to be feared.. to me death is freedom..
I know I know.. you might be thinking i am lost or sad or both. However be rest assured that instead I am fascinated . The concept of death and dying is quite interesting and I have so many questions
Where do we go?
This is pretty straightforward to me.. it’s either Heaven or Hell.. have you saved your soul? You should give your life to Christ if you haven’t.. Jesus is a pretty awesome guy and if you really meet him and experience him..? You will be filled with depths. It was truly an awesome experience for me in particular.. I’d rate it 5 star.
Going to heaven is top on my to-do list.. if that was possible. Here’s hoping I take that narrow path and go home to my Big Daddy
What is with Death and Fear?
Everybody is going to die but not everyone lives. If that is the case.. then why are we so afraid?
Now.. this is interesting for me because.. I have had a couple of near death experiences and there’s this rippling fear that overcomes you when it’s time to die .. are we afraid of what will happen after? Are we afraid that we aren’t done fulfilling our purpose or done enjoying life or suffering? Are we afraid that we might go to hell? Is it that Death itself comes with its own unique fear?
It’s truly fascinating how final, silent and peaceful death seems but there’s a stifling fear almost paralyzing that grips you just before it all ends..
I think we waste a lot of time crying over wasted time so most people still have a lot to do, say or fulfill.
I have always wanted to write an autobiography because I think my life is too interesting to be silent about .. I also imagine if I know I would die at a certain time, I would organize my burial ceremony/ Eulogy before it finally happens. Tbh I don’t want a grave stone.. if I spend all these years taking care of my organs , then it has to be useful to people that need it when I am dead.. all of it .. whatever they can salvage.
Then I want to be cremated and kept with my loved ones.. they can spread it by the ocean at sunset whenever they are ready.. as long as they are
For me the concept of death is releasing and freeing and deep and mystical to say the least. I dunno if I sound narcissistic or evil or dark but for me it’s my reality and I only speak the truth from my heart plus everything is amusing to me at the very core so when I think about these things I do smile. It’s something I’d really like for myself. This really reminds me of this Post Malone’s song ; “Enough is Enough” — ( I laugh but it ain’t funny )
Tbh a lot of people say things like; why do you write dark pieces? or Why do you write so much about depression? .. doesn’t it ever end?
No it doesn’t ever end.. depression isn’t malaria.. it doesn’t go after a few drugs or care sessions or with a hug or with some talking to. It’s constantly happening and it doesn’t stop, and yunno people also come with their own problems.
Also, people you care about have their own demons and you need to help them fight them. So you have to compartmentalize, tame your own demons and give room to those you love because you want to protect them and sometimes it’s from yourself..
There’s this darkness that comes with the broken.. it has you watching how to get rid of a body or how to make a bomb on YouTube or how to eliminate someone that hurts the depths of your core.
You know you don’t have the stomach for it but you need something to validate your anger and express it. The music and the drugs and all that smoking could never be enough to make you feel better. But then you remember you know and love God and you don’t want to die and go to hell .. you see? That gripping fear when you think of death. .. it’s not what or how it will happen.. it’s where I would go that matters to me the most.. so ?
God has always been and will always be the answer
“Turn to me ye who are heavily burdened and weighed down and I will give you rest”
