THE 80/ 20% LOVE AFFAIR

PROLOGUE:

The 80/20% rule, one of the most helpful concepts for life and time management is also known as the Pareto principle. The principle states that for many events, 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.
We as humans are always looking for the next best thing because as we all know, the grass is greener on the other side, right? WRONG!
This is what the 80/20 % explains and teaches us. Generally, when in a relationship with a person, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, friends with benefit, etc., you get about 80% of what you want. This sounds great, right? Because it’s such a high percentage!
However, we are also craving that other 20%- “oh I wish he would call more” “oh if only she would be more caring”. We fight over it, break up over it and complain about it because like I earlier mentioned, we always want what we can’t have.
Now to the love story;

We were on the edge of the cliff.

About to fall not in love, but out of it. The only thing we could see eye to eye on was that our relationship was dysfunctional at that point.
I say this because I am sure if you had asked him, he would tell you the same.

We talked about everything, Teju and I, but over the last month, we could go days without actually having a conversation. Except of course weird conversations couples have when things are falling apart — “have you eaten? — oh good evening to you too” especially because we stayed together. So this meant I couldn’t avoid these conversations or willfully ask for space.

He moved in a few months ago when he quit his job for a different dream and had become comfortable — too comfortable — not doing anything, still coming up with a business plan and actually refusing to go back to his apartment. I had made the mistake of taking care of all the bills initially and was now very tired.
Honestly speaking, while I was having weird ass conversations and paying unwanted bills, I found a distraction I wasn’t looking for in a friend at the mall where I work and I let it play out; “how bad could it be” I thought. I kid you not ladies and gentlemen, let’s just say I thought I had more control over my emotions.

The young man, Dare was an interesting piece of God’s creation when it came to looks, just like the Teju I had at home. Dare was the literal definition of a bubble wrap of energy with the good mix of someone who had a “good head” as we Africans would call it. Again, like the Teju I had at home. The difference, however, was that he was busy, he had the drive Teju had lost which was one of the things that attracted me in the first place.

I felt like nature or the ancestors was letting me wing things, because Dare and I hung out often, came up with inside jokes and I could literally talk to this young man with my eyes (funny right?) It was true.
It was beyond where I saw it going. Remember when I said myself and Teju talked about everything?
Well he knew me inside out and could tell something was different with me; I showed up more excited yet kept to my phone often, I was hanging out after work most days and would laugh uncontrollably while on long WhatsApp calls because you know a lot of inside jokes.

I didn’t mean to hurt him intentionally or rub it in his face I had a new guy exciting me. These were unconscious actions that exhibited because my new peace was now on my phone, it was with everyone else but the person beside me at night.

I am an open book once you are a trusted friend or ally. Unfortunately, this was my undoing, as I was still an open book to Teju. As I mentioned earlier, He could see right through me. He could see that I had a new source of happiness, he wanted to know why he asked questions, he wanted to take control again, as for me though, I was far gone with Dare and I couldn’t tell what Teju could do to impress me.

He picked on my statements suspiciously, glanced stylishly at my message notifications to know who they were from. I didn’t really care much that he saw the messages between Dare and me at that time. Don’t get me wrong, I still loved my man but I wanted more, and my eyes were open to knowing what I could have if I wasn’t supporting a whole other person. I stopped footing all our bills too, it was a state of emergency for me, to each his own. I don’t have time

Dare my MCM was now like my best friend, talk buddy, we had shifted into partial intimacy. I had respect for myself and Teju and I wouldn’t bring myself to the point where I give myself entirely to someone else. I think I would have worn the guilt like a fat puffy sleeve, too obvious to ignore. I already started rocking those sleeves as I couldn’t bring myself to kiss Teju on the lips after Dare and I shifted.

I told Dare everything, even the “me and Teju stuff”, how I felt and all the things I should have been telling Teju which now that I think about it, was a mistake. Lesson 101 in the “branching out” rule book, “do not chat with your MCM about stuff when you have a whole boyfriend you should be telling your feelings to”.
Lol, I didn’t know this then, because it was the first time for me being in that position.

Let’s say GOBE was when Teju Mc Anthony JR checked my chat one day and woke me up in the middle of the night. Thing is in the spirit of being an open book, he knew my phone lock screen password, I, however, didn’t foresee that move.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”, ghen ghen I saw the fire in his eyes…

Story: Annanymous